After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
it was like eating out sand paper
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize