At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My vagina is officially offended.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize