why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
