You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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