Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
