Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Fuck appropriateness.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
