I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
