Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You're like the curious george of whores
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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