We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
