I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
