There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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