There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
