At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
