my mouth tastes like poor choices
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just high enough for therapy.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
