do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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