Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
