toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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