this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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