Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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