I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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