I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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