people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
