I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
