He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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