I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
