i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
