I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
operation have a gay friend backfired
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
