Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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