I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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