No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
