True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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