I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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