And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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