Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I think I am morally bankrupt
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
