the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
