Are we in a gay sports bar?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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