I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
