I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
