i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
and she was petting her beer can
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
