Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
