Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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