And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
