where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
that is very illegal...i love you.
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