Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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