Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
