Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize