I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
how can u be prego again
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
