Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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