Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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