I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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